Cheer Up! Things Could be Much, Much Worse!
After being utterly and thoroughly owned by the Evil Empire this season, the Twins have slid back to the
.500 mark for the hundred-somethingth time (oh, and you’re welcome,
Yankee fans). They currently sit in third place, four games behind the
division-leading Kittehs and two behind the second-place Pale Hosers.
All of which is very, very depressing. But take heart Twins fans,
we’re not the only ones sharpening our razor blades and drawing a bath:
The Royals are teh suck. This is hardly news. But this team has so many problems, it’s difficult to know where to begin. I mean, good God, they replaced Sidney Ponson with Bruce Chen in the starting rotation! What, Buddy Groom wasn’t available? Ooh, and now the infield will be manned by both Ryan Freel AND
Willie Bloomquist! Obviously, GM Dayton Moore hates his job and is
trying his best to get fired. That should just about do it.
The Cubs took a team that won 98 games last year and made the
playoffs for the third time in six seasons, and tore apart the roster
as rebuilding teams are wont to do. Perhaps it was simply an emotional
response to getting swept in the NLDS by the Dodgers, or maybe they
felt they needed to dump salary to expedite efforts to sell the team,
but they traded away key contributors like Mark DeRosa and Jason
Marquis without getting much in return. The Baby Bears are currently
in third place behind the division-leading Cardinals and a Brewers team
that features both Jeff Suppan and Seth McClung in its rotation. Now,
the Cubs are only three games out of first, but even with a recent hot
streak they still have the third-worst offense in the league (only the
Diamondbacks and the Padres are more futile at the plate). Of course, this is all a goat a cat Milton Bradley’s fault.
The Diamondbacks have committed
77 errors this season, the second-most in baseball (only the Nats have
committed more). Granted, errors and fielding percentage aren’t
exactly the best way to measure a team’s defensive efficiency, but I think if you commit three errors in one inning, it’s safe to assume that you are, in fact, not good at baseball.
I’m going to refrain from taking shots at the Nati(o)nals. It’s just too easy. I did get a kick out of the “Oh no: no O!” wardrobe malfunction, though. At least Montreal Washington’s ineptitude is entertaining:
(image courtesy chatterbalks.com)